can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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