return my video game
Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
