is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
