your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
