My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
