You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
