And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
