I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
