I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
