there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
