i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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