Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
