You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
