I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
