You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
