Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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