Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Randomize
