I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Can I color on your dick again?
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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