margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
love makes seman taste better
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
