if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize
