I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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