i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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