9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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