We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
