I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
