I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
