batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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