I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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