Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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