Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
