I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
