There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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