We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
