return my video game
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize