ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize