And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
