That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
