He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
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