if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
