Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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