Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
