Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
it's like heaven, but drunker
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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