your parents love me but you hate me
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize