Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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