Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
