he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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