this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
