Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
