Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
