No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize