My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
and you said cock pushups were impossible
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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