When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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