I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize