i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
