She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Randomize
