Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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