then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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