he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Someone came in the potted fern
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
