just tell him i said nine months
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
